Updated : 28/06//2004

"Show Me You Are The True God!"
By Richard Ho

Throughout my adult life, there was nothing exceptional to be proud of. I lived in an area where illegal activities were the norm. By my late teens, I was already a pub owner and, for a few years, a professional gambler. My father and I would travel the region hand-in-hand hunting for gambling opportunities. From gambling, I then ventured into the counterfeit video compact disc (VCD) business. My daily life consisted of drinking, gambling and womanizing. This came naturally because my business and the friends I associated with were all engaged in those activities. I guess birds of a feather really do flock together. Don't you think it's strange that a person coming from this environment can actually believe in Jesus?

It started 'coincidentally' when I tagged along with someone on a Sunday evening to an evangelistic meeting in a church. The sermon that night attracted me and it went like this: "All Christians are parts of the Body of Christ. They are coordinated because all the parts listen to one Head. They listen to the Lord's commands. The pastor only disseminates the oracle." I was excited not because I found Christ but because the Bible contained so much wisdom, rather like a 'Western version' of Sun Tzu's Art of War. I was fascinated by it and I wanted to apply my newfound wisdom to my business. I immediately had a series of meetings with my staff to streamline all departments from debt collection to distribution channels. I had a message for them: All of them were parts of the 'body' of my company; for them to be coordinated, they had to obey company directives. I was the 'pastor' of the company and disseminated the company directives.

This was a masterstroke in managing my business and, as a result, it expanded. I was eager to know more and this drove me to learn even more of the Bible. The following Sunday morning, I went to church again and came away feeling even more ecstatic. The third occasion, however, was a disappointment. I heard someone telling another, "You have been a Christian for so long, why are you still smoking? You just have to pray to Jesus Christ and you will quit smoking." I couldn't bear hearing that. It greatly annoyed me. I had unsuccessfully tried to quit smoking more than a hundred times and here was someone saying that you only needed to pray to quit smoking. That was just not believable.

Watching TV alone at home, I heard the words, "Prayer can lead you to quit smoking." I switched to the radio and I heard the same words again. Then a rational thought came to me: What would be the costs of praying if, firstly, it was absolutely free and, secondly, I wouldn't lose face if I did not quit because no one knew that I had tried to do so? I went on my knees and prayed, "Lord Jesus, if You are really God and You can help me to quit smoking then I will believe in you. If not, how am I to believe in You?"

It was my habit to light up a cigarette before doing anything else after waking up. Searching for my cigarettes the next morning, I remembered how I had bargained with the Lord Jesus Christ last night and had arrogantly thrown the cigarettes into the dustbin. They were too damp to smoke. I said to myself that I was not a Christian and that, after all, surely some Christians smoked.

Satisfied with that justification, I headed to the shops to buy another pack. As I opened the front door, however, a thought from out-of-the-blue struck me, "You think of yourself as a very clever and capable person but yet one little cigarette can control you. You cannot be that clever and 'terror' after all." I sat on my sofa stunned and dumbfounded. Why, in the past 20 over years, had I never thought of this? From that time on, I never lit a cigarette again. Of course I still entertained doubts and was not fully convinced. What if I started smoking again? What if these were my own prophesies and I was making a fool out of myself. I decided to wait and see and continued to go to church as usual.

One Saturday, my buddy brought some friends over and wanted me to show them what was 'happening' in the city, in other words, to take them to "feng tau" (an ecstasy pill party). I was overjoyed. Feng tau was my first love and I used to go three or four times a week. Sometimes, I went every night of the week. Since attending church over the past one month, however, I had totally forgotten about them. I told myself that it was time to hit the places again. Without such entertainment how can life be happy? I prepared all the things that one needed for the session. While going into the disco, however, I heard a Voice say clearly, "You are no longer a feng tau." I was astonished. I was shaken. I was scared. I thought to myself, "Surely Jesus cannot be that powerful?"

Disturbed, I didn't smoke or take any pills that night. After my third glass of alcohol, my buddies arrived accompanied by some pretty girls. One towed a pretty young girl over to me, telling her, "This is taiko (the boss). If taiko looks after us we will have an easy living." This was not unusual. Before accepting Christ, I usually got those girls drunk and then took advantage of them. Evil intentions began taking hold of me but as I lifted my glass, I heard the Voice again, "You are not the type that does things like that." Now I was really anxious, torn between giving in and resisting the devil. The tension was too much to bear and finally I lost control and screamed at the girl, "What is wrong with you? With some free beer and free pills, you are willing to do anything!"

Everyone, including myself, thought that I had gone mad. I left the place at 6 am and when I reached home, I took a good look at myself in the mirror. "Why", I wondered, "was I at home and not in some hotel room?" I couldn't sleep. I needed answers. Where could I find them? Since it was Sunday morning, I decided that church was the place and so I went. I was pretty exhausted and slept through the worship session standing up. The preaching, however, cut deeply into my soul and the words seemed to loop in my head over and over. I felt uneasy and asked God "What are You trying to tell me?"

Immediately, I fell into a deep slumber and began to dream. There was a screen projecting images like the VCDs that I counterfeited. There were four scenes. The first was that of my friend from Johor. We had a similar back ground but he ran away because the loan sharks were looking for him. The second was that of a flamboyant friend who drove a series of luxury cars. All had been repossessed and he now couldn't face his friends. The third friend was financially sound but for some unknown reasons he had butchered his uncle. The fourth was of a well-known Romeo who had married two women and had thousands of girlfriends. He now had thousands of headaches. Without a shadow of a doubt, God told me that the fifth person on the screen would be me. With cold sweat oozing from every pore, I realized that indulging in evil acts was not a blessing. The end is predictable; it is filled with anguish and pain.

I was still not satisfied, however, and asked God, You say that You will bestow blessings on me but what have You given me? Then I saw my little nephew whom my younger brother had placed under my care. (My brother was also on the run from loan sharks.) Before, I could barely entertain him and the other children for more than 10 minutes. In the last five weeks, I had played with them for hours every day. I dreamt my relationship with my mother had also markedly improved. It was only then that I realised of the things that really matter in life. I awoke and, egotistical as I was, in front of over 300 people, I began weep to weep. That Sunday, I gave my heart to Jesus. I had finally found my God.

Lionel Lim is the Vice-President of KL Taman Midah Chinese Chapter. He worships at Chris Christan Centre, KL.

I grew up in a family with strong Chinese beliefs. My parents came from China and they followed many rituals and ceremonies. This included burning incense, 'hell-paper money', worshipping idols, chanting and so forth. All this was done in the hope of gaining greater wealth and prosperity. Being the youngest in the family, though, I had little idea what it was all about.

As an adult, I went into business hoping to make it big but I encountered a lot of problems. I am a trained mechanical engineer and willing to work exceptionally hard to achieve my goals. The rewards that I received, however, never seemed to match the efforts that I put in.

One day, I came across some successful businessmen and I asked them their formula for success. I was told that hard work was not enough. I was told that I had also to get the backing of their 'super-powerful' gods. I had to follow their teachings and recite Thai sutras (prayers). I joined this religious sect, had a few masters (sifu) and became a staunch disciple.

One night, I had a dream. I dreamt that I was standing on a cliff at the peak of a high mountain. The mountain was so high that I could not see the bottom, which was shrouded by a thick mist. All of a sudden, someone or some thing pushed me from behind and I toppled over the edge. As I fell, I caught a brief glimpse of three men, dressed in black and with every part of their bodies covered except for the eyes.

I said to myself that I was sure to die. I closed my eyes, prepared to draw my last breath and enter the gates of hell. Quite unexpectedly, however, I felt a pair of strong arms embracing my heavy body, breaking my fall and enabling me to land softly on the ground.

I saw that the arms belonged to a 'man' clothed in white cloth with a scarf around his neck. His crystal blue eyes were the most compassionate I had ever seen and he had a smile on his face. Just before he disappeared, I heard him gently whisper, "I am the Way". Immediately, I woke up. It was 3.45 am.

That day, I was busy with appointments and did not give the matter any further thought. It was, after all, only a dream. But it was in fact far from over. In my younger days, I had heard about Jesus but over the years, especially with a different religion, I had forsaken Him. God, however, did not and He continued to pursue me.

One day, my wife told me that she had found a very old red Bible in the bookshelf when she was doing her usual housekeeping. Neither of us knew where it came from. Later that week, my daughter received a blue pocket Gideon Bible from someone outside her school gate. This coincidence disturbed me.

I flipped through the first few pages of the Bible but read them without paying much attention. I thought to myself that it would be absurd to change to another faith just because of a dream. (I did not know then that the dream that I had was still very much on my mind.) "Jesus", I was led to exclaim, "show me evidence that You are the True God." Shortly after that, I had another divine encounter.

One Saturday afternoon, I was taking a short-nap on the sofa when God spoke to my soul. He placed within me the unshakeable conviction that He alone was the Creator of heaven and earth, that Jesus was His Son, and that only Jesus had the power to forgive us of our sins, heal our sicknesses and provide for our needs. He challenged me to disprove it.

The week following was one of intense soul-searching. I thought about those claims and talked to the many learned sifu that I knew. True enough, however, I was unable to shake that conviction, no matter what they said. It gave me a sense of peace and joy that I had not known before. I just knew that it was the truth.

He had, just as I had prayed for, put faith in my heart that enabled my spiritual eyes to open and see Him and for my spirit man to know Him. It was nothing short of a miracle. One by one, my entire family turned to Christ and today, we worship Him with our hearts, souls and minds. We have been transformed and we have new lives in His Kingdom. Praise the Lord!

Richard Ho is a member of FGB KL Sungei Buloh Chapter. He is married to Yoke Chin and they worship at Kepong Grace Church, KL.