Updated : 21/08/2001

My Source Of Help
By Stanley Har

Having been born into a staunch non-Christian family, I was made to believe in the universality of all religions and that they all led to God the Creator.

The journey into the light through the tunnel of darkness had for me been a long, agonizing, filled with hopelessness and despair, deceit, manipulation, danger to life, guilt-feelings and disappointments. My daughter’s illness (leukemia) and her subsequent death that shattered my dreams and brought to naught all the material “blessings” I had received up to that point in time.

From my younger days I had a desire to live a holy life. One could say that I was the family priest. I had visited various places of worship locally and overseas and took pleasure in spending my money for religious purposes. At the same time, temptations of the world and pride of life constantly lured me into sin. Life earlier had been extremely satisfying and I felt I had everything a man could hope for. I had been blessed with an active and rewarding school and college life as well as good jobs in the civil service. I thoroughly enjoyed my career and worked hard, for which I was rewarded by the Government with pay to study courses overseas. I had a happy family, being blessed with a wife and two children.

It was during one of such overseas stints in the United Kingdom that calamity struck my family with my daughter being hospitalised for a two-year period due to leukemia. I took her to various places of worship locally, visited astrologers (including seeking solace in computerized horoscopes from the US) and indulged in various religious rituals performed in temples and by mediums and ‘faith healers’. Palmists and soothsayers were not left out in my search for help. All these not only drained me of money but also brought me more confusion and despair.

When the doctors gave up hope, my wife and I finally took our daughter to South India to consult a faith healer who was said to be ‘a reincarnation of God’ and to seek other places of worship. My faith in all the gods we took our daughter to was shattered when she passed away later. I convinced myself there are to be no more gods in my life.

It was in Pittsburgh (USA), while studying for a higher degree, that I came to experience the work of demonic spirits in my life; bringing fear, suspicion and oppression. I decided to seek God again by reading religious literature and attending religious prayer meetings. Reading books on positive-thinking recommended to me by the psychologist I visited did not help. It was then that I had my encounter with Jesus while watching a TV Gospel and Healing programme. I was convicted of all the sins I had committed. I fell to the floor repenting for my sins and asking Jesus to save me. On repenting for my sins and asking Jesus to save me I felt my burdens lifted away and I was overjoyed with the peace I received. Not realizing I was ‘born again’ (as none of my friends in Pittsburgh went to Church or had any personal encounter with God), I went to celebrate the joyful experience in a pub. Soon with my family joining me later, and much to my regret, I went back to idol worship.

On returning to Malaysia, I again began to visit various places of worship. In addition to rebuilding a temple, constructing a chariot and offering costly sacrifices to the gods, I also re-erected an altar in my house, decking it with idols of all the gods I could lay my hands on. Yet, life was not fulfilling and slowly we had family problems.

Finally, the gods in one of the temples (manifesting through the priest) confessed that a certain ‘power’ was coming over me which they were not able to overcome. Thus began my disappointment with the gods I had trusted (not realising that the ‘power’ they were referring to was Jesus). From then on I began to experience obstacles to my idol worship and I was truly perplexed.

One day I came to know James (a taxi driver) who had earlier taken me home from the hospital after a month of treatment for my stomach ulcers. James began to share with me about the Gospel of Jesus Christ and left me with a pocket sized Bible. In the weeks following, due to increased spiritual attacks, I contemplated becoming a hermit or alternatively, take my life by jumping into the Klang River.

Initially I rejected James’ proposition that I allow Jesus to help me. Later, offended by his suggestion that I clear my altar of gods and worship Jesus in spirit and truth. I ordered him to leave.

Through his love for me, James came back shortly with two lady friends. I accepted the Lord soon after hearing the testimony of one of the ladies who is polio-stricken. Indeed I was ministered to by the Lord through her sharing and was totally transformed with rivers of unspeakable joy were flowing into me. I could feel demonic bindings leaving me and sorrows, confusions and negative thoughts vanishing. A newness of hope and strength overwhelmed me and I was ‘born again’.

Later, we destroyed the altar and had a house cleansing prayer. That night, I had a very restful and peaceful sleep after such a long lapse of time. In the early hour of the next morning I had a visitation by the Lord when I was woken up. The room was lit by an unusually bright and glorious light that enabled me to read Psalms 21:11-12 … ‘though they plot evil against you and devise wicked schemes, they cannot succeed, for you will make them turn their back when you aim at them with drawn bow’. The verse assured me He would help me to overcome my predicament.

True to His Word, He healed me of my stomach ulcers, ear infection, drinking and smoking habits. Through a prophecy, which I obeyed implicitly, he united me with my family. My Jehovah Jireh even miraculously helped me to settle all my debts and wonderfully provided all the needs of my family.

God answered my prayers by enabling me to serve Him in a Christian organisation. Only His precious promises keep me going one day at a time. 

Praise His Holy Name!

Until Jesus came into my life, I was struggling with my business and with all kinds of guides except the true Guide. My struggle was in vain and as I became more and more anxious I consulted mediums, astrologers, palm readers, soothsayers, bomohs and fortune tellers. I kept going back for consultations costing more money even when there was no improvement in my business and as my debts mounted. Problems with family and marriage grew more and more serious because of my financial problems.

I was confused and frustrated and became arrogant, angry and hot-tempered. Because of my circumstances I was drawn into the worldly prescription for happiness-wine, women and song. I also became a heavy smoker and a gambler. Nothing seemed to be right with what I did and further consultations with mediums of the occult made me more confused and worried. 

As a way out, a well meaning friend brought me to see a Siamese spiritualist although I sensed fear and uneasiness in this encounter I became possessed by the spirit for the next seven years. I made talisman and ‘tangkai’ amulets that were believed to provide protection and power, but despite all these religious artifacts, I was suffering as I have no peace nor joy and no improvement in my business life. I even sacrificed my last few dollars to buy ‘holy oil’ and flowers to worship the spirit and failed to receive any blessing. Even the bar (spirits) business that I had invested in did not improve and as it became worse I became addicted to drinks and would drink to forget my troubles. 

During this miserable period of life, my wife and I discussed divorce and I contemplated suicide as a way. I searched and consulted so-called higher gods and suffered. These bondages were so serious that I was no longer in control of my life as my body was possessed by this ‘unholy spiritual’ marriage.

Then one day a Christian friend came to my house to try and sell me life insurance. He also shared how he nearly went bankrupt and came back to God. God saw to his needs and helped him and delivered him from poverty and his helpless situation. He also shared about the power of the name of Jesus. That night as usual I could not sleep but I sensed an unusual peace. The whole night I was wondering about the God that he worshipped. Who is Jesus? He was so great and powerful to see my friend’s needs and fulfilled his desire. Why had my many gods blind and deaf to my suffering? I was very desperate to call Jesus but I could not get the words out of my mouth. After that I dreamed of a beautiful woman asking me for marriage. When I asked her to come nearer, she changed into a ‘beast’. I was so disturbed and woke up shouting at the ‘beast’ to leave me alone in Jesus’ name. Thank God for His grace! I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my Saviour, my Lord and my Master that day.

From that day on, God started to change me. At that time, I had started my Fire Protection Engineering firm. I was laden with many heavy debts. All I had was a small desk and a borrowed typewriter from a neighbour. I asked the Lord Jesus to help me and in two months time, I was awarded with construction projects in fire protection in addition to my usual servicing and maintenance works. God had blessed me abundantly all these years in miraculous ways. He also healed my marriage and I realized I had a lovely wife. He also replaced not only what I had lost but also multiplied them. All I have to do is to have faith, obey and trust Him and to make Jesus my Lord over everything in whatever I do.

There are so many good things to share, for example, how I was awarded my biggest contract. This contract involved installing a fire protection system for the biggest supermarket building at that time. During that time I was not even pre-qualified to get the tender document forms. My business registration had expired. The owner rang and asked me why I had not tender. I told the owner I was not informed about the tender and I would not be able to afford the tender document fees. The owner then asked me to pick up the tender documents personally from him. When I saw the documents, I threw them aside and said “Oh God, that job is like moving a mountain!” I realised that I was not able to fill or complete the documents. At that time, I had no clerical help, but only my inexperienced wife to help me. My business address was my home. I had no past job references, no experience and no bank facilities. I took this almost blank document with price detail and submitted it to the owner. The owner looked at the price and rejected it. He asked me to revise it within two days. I replied that I could not complete the document in two days. So the owner tore up the uncompleted document and asked for only the revised price section which I gave. Getting the contract was a miracle. I was awarded the contract worth half a million ringgits, my biggest contract then.

However, after getting the contract, trouble started again. I had no staff, no bank credit and no expertise. How could I complete the job? However, Jesus assured me that everything would be all right if I just seek after Him. I claimed the contract and its fulfillment just like Joshua did for the Promised Land in the Bible. But doubts crept in concerning my finances which were short and the devil whispered to me that I could not complete the contract and could be sued. Again I sought Jesus and I spoke against the devil saying, ”In Jesus’ name I command you to shut out and I want you to know that though I can’t, Jesus can. He is in me.” I prayed for a miracle to happen and this happened when the management decided to offer me all the materials. 

The next problem was the workmen. All left me except six, and of these six, two of them were unable to work as they were attacked by local gangsters when they were having their holidays. Another died in a motor-cycle accident and another fell down from a scaffolding. Without the workmen I could not complete the contract. I prayed to Jesus once again and a fat man came to ask for work. I decided to take him on even though he could not hold a hammer properly. And during work he started to manifest evil spirits. As I was already familiar with deliverance, I took authority in the name of the Lord Jesus and commanded the spirits to come out of this fat man and he was completely delivered. When he came to his senses he did not know about the manifestations and it was this man who went back to his village to bring a group of farmers (rather than plumbers) to work for me. These are the workers who completed the contract for me within the time allotted. My plight which was well known to the other contractors become a joke but the power of God was undeniable as I depended on Him. He saved me once again in my business!

More project were given to me even though I did not have the contacts. God provided me with overdraft bank facilities and workers to complete all of them including a contract which other contractors refused to accept as the employer was known to be a bad paymaster and had caused other business failures. I ask the Lord’s favour once again and receive prompt payment and cooperation from this “blacklisted’’ employer and the contract was completed successfully with all moneys due to me paid.

All these business experiences lead me to believe that if I look to God for His provisions, He will deliver. Matthew 6:33 says, “ But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, all these things will be given to you as well” I have claimed this verse over again and again in my business. As believer in Jesus, I now have peace, joy, and sound mind. I claim His power with signs, wonder and miracles in difficult situations. My business philosophy is to seek Jesus as my Guide and He never fails me. I thank God for His love, mercy and bountiful grace over me, my family and my business.